After the success of Star Wars (Martin Scorsese says he loves it and wants to make a movie of it ) I have decided to write another story.
This one is called Batman.
Episode 1: 2 Fast, 2 Furious
Batman was a young boy, who went to see a play with his mom and dad. But the play was scary so Batman wanted to go home. So Batman and his mom and dad left the theater. When they were walking home his mom and dad were killed by some guy, and then batman was all like "FFFFFFUUUUUU!" and shit, as his parents were dead. So then it's all like 10 years later, and Batman has came back to his place after completing his studies at a highly prestigious university located in New Jersey. So then Batman heard that that guy who killed his father was on trial. So Batman went to the trial. After the trial Batman walked up to the guy and said "My name is Batman, you killed my father, prepare to die!" But before Batman could kill him another guy killed him. Then Batman complained to Tom Cruise's current wife (he's had three wives, this one is the current one) about being robbed of vengence. So he goes to the main mob guy in Batman City to kick his ass. But when he got there he saw that the mob guy was to strong and big, so Batman then got so fucking pissed he bought a shirt from a hobo and started doing crime and shit.
Batman crimed his way all the way to China where he was arrested. Batman was then sent to a prison in North Korea where he met some Irish guy faking an English accent. The Irish guy told Batman that he could help Batman fuck up some bad guys, so Batman went with him. They were in Japan and the Irish guy said he was a ninja, and that Batman needs to become a ninja as well. He taught Batman how to kill guys with swords, and ninjas stars, and by punching them allot. Then the Irish guy told Batman to kill this old guy, but Batman said, "No, killing is bad!" But the Irish guy said "Quit being a bitch, just DO IT FAGGOT!" Then Batman was like "NO U!" as Batman didn't want to kill. Then Batman blew up the ninja place, probably killing the guy he was supposed to kill, the Irish guy and all the other ninjas.
Batman then went back to Batman City and said hi to Tom Cruise's wife. She told him that the mob boss guy was as strong and big as ever, but Batman was all like, "lol." So then Batman and his Butler and and African American guy, who was not the same African American guy from Star Wars, build Batman body armor, several weapons and a tank. Yeah sure he's supposed to be all less than lethal and shit, but without this crap what's going to make all the CGI explosions and shit? Then Batman said "I AM BECOME DEATH!" and he started beating the shit out of the mob guys and blowing up their heroine. So then Batman found the big mob boss, and he was about to beat him up, when the mob boss said "wtf are you supposed to be." Then Batman said in a really gravelly voice "My name's Batman." And he punched the mob guy in the face.
With all the mob guys arrested, Batman was all happy and shit for cleaning up Batman City. However, all the bad-guys were not sent to prison, as this nerdy guy made them all go insane. Batman said "Wat is this faggot-tree?" Tom Cruise's wife found out that this was because some nerdy guy was putting a sack on his head and shooting them up with Super-Heroine, which made them afraid of stuff. So she goes to bitch slap him. However she is captured in his pedo-lair and Batman must save her.
Batman goes to save her, but finds that she was already shot-up with the Super-Heroine. So he finds the nerdy guy and beats the shit out of him for a bit. Then Batman finds that the nerdy-guy is going putting his Super-Heroine in Batman City's water supply. So Batman jumps to the place and punches the nerdy guy. The nerdy guy says that the Irish guy told him to do it. However the po-leese come in and start blasting on Batman. So Batman takes Tom Cruise's wife and gives her the Super-Heroine antidote..
Then instead of chasing down the nerdy guy, Batman has a party at his house. He thinks the party is gay. Not as gay as that one robot from Star Wars, but still pretty fucking gay. At the party Batman sees the Irish Guy and is all like "OH SHI-" And then the Irish guy is all like "Batman this party is really gay, so gay infact that it is... flaming" and with that the Irish Guy burns down Batman's gay house and his gay party. This makes Batman so pissed off that he starts swinging a cactus.
So Batman chases after the Irish guy to poison the water, and the guy who stole the humidifier. The Irish Guy is going to ram a train into a terminal with the humidifier on board, which will vaporize all the Super-Heroine in Batman City's sewers. How the train is supposed maintain enough momentum to get from the train terminal too the sewers, I have no fucking clue. As with Stars Wars, it's my fucking story so you can fuck right off. The Irish guy and his ninjas also sent all the crazy mob guys to wreck shit in a slum in Batman City. So all the police go to the slum so that they can shoot at them.
So then all the police in the slum are gassed with Super-Heroine, except this one police guy who Batman gives his tank too and tells him to blow up the train with the humidifier on it. Being an expert tank commander, the police guy blows up some trusses. Then the nerdy guy ambushes Tom Cruises wife, and in literally 2 seconds have he appears she shoots him with a Taser™. Yeah that's right, one of the main villians in the story is defeated in two seconds by a woman with a woman's weapon, fucking climactic battle right there.
But the real climatic battle is taking place as Batman is punching the Irish guy allot. The Irish Guy keeps on reminding Batman that Batman's gay. Just then the cop in the tank blows up the trusses and the train is about to die. Batman then says to the Irish guy, "No, YER GHEY!" and he grapples away leaving the Irish guy to crash with the train.
And then Batman goes to the cop he gave his tank to and says hi. The cop then tells him that he's gotten a promotion and that there is a clown guy robbing places and blowing things up now.
The end.
OF EPISODE 1!
Episode 2: Return of the Jedi
So that clown guy I was telling you about, he is robbing this bank and shit. It's a mob bank so he's gotta shoot a bunch of people a ram a bus through the wall. Then it's night and a bunch of Batmen with shotguns are shooting at mob-guys and their dogs and the nerdy guy from Episode 1: 2 Fast 2 Furious is there. Then the real Batman comes in and kicks the shit out of all of them and ties them up. When the fake Batmen ask why they can't help Batman, Batman says it's because they have to go to hockey practice.
So then a group of mob guys are meeting. They are black guys, a Guidos and Russians; as those are the people who do most of the crime. So then the clown guy comes in, stabs one in the face with a pencil and says he'll kill Batman for them. They're all like "lolfag" as the clown guy is wearing a purple shirt and lots of make-up. So then a Chinese guy comes on the TV and says that he took their money for safe keeping, as their bank was getting audited by the IRS, and Batman made it radioactive.
So then Batman goes to China to catch the Chinese mob guy. In China all the cops have German guns, which makes no sense. I mean China has some really good guns of their own, this is a BF2 website, you guys should know that. So then Batman takes the Chinese guy back to Batman city, where he rats on all the other mobsters and they all get put on trial. The remaining mobsters then agree to pay the clown guy to kill Batman.
The clown guy then blows up the judge who was judging all the mob guys that the Chinese guy said were bad. He also poisons the police commissioner and some random guy with the same name as the District Attorney. Then it's the police commissioner's funeral, and the clown guy has stolen all the snipers and replaced them with his own snipers. So Batman starts beating them up and that cop who drove Batman's tank in 2 Fast 2 Furious takes a bullet for the mayor. So then the district attorney finds this guy with a name tag that reads "That Chick who was Tom Cruise's wife in the first movie but she's a different chick now but the same character." So he tries to play Russian Roulette with him, but Batman says "No, you must be a good guy and shit."
So then the district attorney says that he's Batman and that he should get arrested. He is arrested and put into an APC. Then the clown rolls up on the APC in a semi and starts shooting at it with his gun. The cops in the APC are all like "You're weapons cannot harm me, this is an APC bitch!" This pisses the clown off, so he starts shooting rocket-missiles at it. However not being aware of the most basic points of shooting rockets at moving targets, like leading and shit, he misses each time. Then Batman comes in with his tank and shoots at the clown's truck. So the clown gets pissed and pwns Batman's tank. A motorcycle with guns on it drives out of the blown up tank and Batman uses it to jack-knife the clown's semi. Then Batman punches the clown, but the clown pulls a gun a Batman. Then the cop who was supposed to be dead smacks the clown and sticks a shotgun in his face, as he wasn't actually dead.
So Batman, the not-dead cop and the mayor go to the jail with the clown and the clown's butt-buddies. There the mayor says that as the not-dead cop is the highest ranking cop who hasn't been offed, that he's the commissioner now. Then Batman takes the clown into a room and he beats him up and asks him questions. Apparently the district attorney and the Chick who is no longer Tom Cruise's wife were stolen. The clown tells Batman their place and Batman goes to save the chick. Then as Batman leaves one of the clown's butt-buddies blows up and the clown is able to escape.
Batman goes to the place but finds the District Attorney, their instead of the chick. But he got flammable stuff on his face and when the building blows up half his face burns off. So then a guy from BatmanTech™ says he'll tell everyone that Batman is Batman. The clown is all like "For God's sake, fuck this shit." And starts blowing up hospitals until that guys doesn't say that Batman is Batman. In one of the hospitals the clown tells the District Attorney that is burned-face is ugly. This pisses him off, so he goes out and starts killing all the guys who call him ugly.
Then the clown is in a building with his guys and the people he stole from the hospitals. At the same time a bunch of guys are escaping the city on boats. But one of the boats needs to be full of criminals so that they don't escape and help the clown. The police are about to shoot the clown's butt-buddies, but Batman says no. Then the clown says that he put bombs on the boats, and that he says that the not-criminals have a chance to blow up the criminals boat, and vice-versa. Upon hearing this, the criminals throw their bomb-exploding device out of the window. The not-criminals take a vote and being the pussy-faggots that they are, agree to blow up the criminals, however they are really, really, really big pussy-faggots, so they are all to pussy to actually DO IT FAGGOT!. Then Batman realizes that the guys who look like hospital guys are really the clown's butt-buddies, and the clown's butt-buddies are really hospital guys, and then the police are coming in to shoot-up the place, so Batman just beats up everyone. He then finds the clown and punches him in the face and ties him up with cables and shit.
But the burned faced district attorney is about to kill the police commissioner's family, as they called him ugly also. So then Batman comes in and accidentally the district attorney (all 93.3 megabytes of it). And instead of blaming his death, and the death of all the guys he killed on that clown guy, who is overdue for a death sentence anyway, they decide for no reason at all to blame it on Batman.
The end.
OF EPISODE 2!
Episode 3: Tiberian Sun
I haven't written this one yet, but I do intend to eventually.
This one is called Batman.
Episode 1: 2 Fast, 2 Furious
Batman was a young boy, who went to see a play with his mom and dad. But the play was scary so Batman wanted to go home. So Batman and his mom and dad left the theater. When they were walking home his mom and dad were killed by some guy, and then batman was all like "FFFFFFUUUUUU!" and shit, as his parents were dead. So then it's all like 10 years later, and Batman has came back to his place after completing his studies at a highly prestigious university located in New Jersey. So then Batman heard that that guy who killed his father was on trial. So Batman went to the trial. After the trial Batman walked up to the guy and said "My name is Batman, you killed my father, prepare to die!" But before Batman could kill him another guy killed him. Then Batman complained to Tom Cruise's current wife (he's had three wives, this one is the current one) about being robbed of vengence. So he goes to the main mob guy in Batman City to kick his ass. But when he got there he saw that the mob guy was to strong and big, so Batman then got so fucking pissed he bought a shirt from a hobo and started doing crime and shit.
Batman crimed his way all the way to China where he was arrested. Batman was then sent to a prison in North Korea where he met some Irish guy faking an English accent. The Irish guy told Batman that he could help Batman fuck up some bad guys, so Batman went with him. They were in Japan and the Irish guy said he was a ninja, and that Batman needs to become a ninja as well. He taught Batman how to kill guys with swords, and ninjas stars, and by punching them allot. Then the Irish guy told Batman to kill this old guy, but Batman said, "No, killing is bad!" But the Irish guy said "Quit being a bitch, just DO IT FAGGOT!" Then Batman was like "NO U!" as Batman didn't want to kill. Then Batman blew up the ninja place, probably killing the guy he was supposed to kill, the Irish guy and all the other ninjas.
Batman then went back to Batman City and said hi to Tom Cruise's wife. She told him that the mob boss guy was as strong and big as ever, but Batman was all like, "lol." So then Batman and his Butler and and African American guy, who was not the same African American guy from Star Wars, build Batman body armor, several weapons and a tank. Yeah sure he's supposed to be all less than lethal and shit, but without this crap what's going to make all the CGI explosions and shit? Then Batman said "I AM BECOME DEATH!" and he started beating the shit out of the mob guys and blowing up their heroine. So then Batman found the big mob boss, and he was about to beat him up, when the mob boss said "wtf are you supposed to be." Then Batman said in a really gravelly voice "My name's Batman." And he punched the mob guy in the face.
With all the mob guys arrested, Batman was all happy and shit for cleaning up Batman City. However, all the bad-guys were not sent to prison, as this nerdy guy made them all go insane. Batman said "Wat is this faggot-tree?" Tom Cruise's wife found out that this was because some nerdy guy was putting a sack on his head and shooting them up with Super-Heroine, which made them afraid of stuff. So she goes to bitch slap him. However she is captured in his pedo-lair and Batman must save her.
Batman goes to save her, but finds that she was already shot-up with the Super-Heroine. So he finds the nerdy guy and beats the shit out of him for a bit. Then Batman finds that the nerdy-guy is going putting his Super-Heroine in Batman City's water supply. So Batman jumps to the place and punches the nerdy guy. The nerdy guy says that the Irish guy told him to do it. However the po-leese come in and start blasting on Batman. So Batman takes Tom Cruise's wife and gives her the Super-Heroine antidote..
Then instead of chasing down the nerdy guy, Batman has a party at his house. He thinks the party is gay. Not as gay as that one robot from Star Wars, but still pretty fucking gay. At the party Batman sees the Irish Guy and is all like "OH SHI-" And then the Irish guy is all like "Batman this party is really gay, so gay infact that it is... flaming" and with that the Irish Guy burns down Batman's gay house and his gay party. This makes Batman so pissed off that he starts swinging a cactus.
So Batman chases after the Irish guy to poison the water, and the guy who stole the humidifier. The Irish Guy is going to ram a train into a terminal with the humidifier on board, which will vaporize all the Super-Heroine in Batman City's sewers. How the train is supposed maintain enough momentum to get from the train terminal too the sewers, I have no fucking clue. As with Stars Wars, it's my fucking story so you can fuck right off. The Irish guy and his ninjas also sent all the crazy mob guys to wreck shit in a slum in Batman City. So all the police go to the slum so that they can shoot at them.
So then all the police in the slum are gassed with Super-Heroine, except this one police guy who Batman gives his tank too and tells him to blow up the train with the humidifier on it. Being an expert tank commander, the police guy blows up some trusses. Then the nerdy guy ambushes Tom Cruises wife, and in literally 2 seconds have he appears she shoots him with a Taser™. Yeah that's right, one of the main villians in the story is defeated in two seconds by a woman with a woman's weapon, fucking climactic battle right there.
But the real climatic battle is taking place as Batman is punching the Irish guy allot. The Irish Guy keeps on reminding Batman that Batman's gay. Just then the cop in the tank blows up the trusses and the train is about to die. Batman then says to the Irish guy, "No, YER GHEY!" and he grapples away leaving the Irish guy to crash with the train.
And then Batman goes to the cop he gave his tank to and says hi. The cop then tells him that he's gotten a promotion and that there is a clown guy robbing places and blowing things up now.
The end.
OF EPISODE 1!
Episode 2: Return of the Jedi
So that clown guy I was telling you about, he is robbing this bank and shit. It's a mob bank so he's gotta shoot a bunch of people a ram a bus through the wall. Then it's night and a bunch of Batmen with shotguns are shooting at mob-guys and their dogs and the nerdy guy from Episode 1: 2 Fast 2 Furious is there. Then the real Batman comes in and kicks the shit out of all of them and ties them up. When the fake Batmen ask why they can't help Batman, Batman says it's because they have to go to hockey practice.
So then a group of mob guys are meeting. They are black guys, a Guidos and Russians; as those are the people who do most of the crime. So then the clown guy comes in, stabs one in the face with a pencil and says he'll kill Batman for them. They're all like "lolfag" as the clown guy is wearing a purple shirt and lots of make-up. So then a Chinese guy comes on the TV and says that he took their money for safe keeping, as their bank was getting audited by the IRS, and Batman made it radioactive.
So then Batman goes to China to catch the Chinese mob guy. In China all the cops have German guns, which makes no sense. I mean China has some really good guns of their own, this is a BF2 website, you guys should know that. So then Batman takes the Chinese guy back to Batman city, where he rats on all the other mobsters and they all get put on trial. The remaining mobsters then agree to pay the clown guy to kill Batman.
The clown guy then blows up the judge who was judging all the mob guys that the Chinese guy said were bad. He also poisons the police commissioner and some random guy with the same name as the District Attorney. Then it's the police commissioner's funeral, and the clown guy has stolen all the snipers and replaced them with his own snipers. So Batman starts beating them up and that cop who drove Batman's tank in 2 Fast 2 Furious takes a bullet for the mayor. So then the district attorney finds this guy with a name tag that reads "That Chick who was Tom Cruise's wife in the first movie but she's a different chick now but the same character." So he tries to play Russian Roulette with him, but Batman says "No, you must be a good guy and shit."
So then the district attorney says that he's Batman and that he should get arrested. He is arrested and put into an APC. Then the clown rolls up on the APC in a semi and starts shooting at it with his gun. The cops in the APC are all like "You're weapons cannot harm me, this is an APC bitch!" This pisses the clown off, so he starts shooting rocket-missiles at it. However not being aware of the most basic points of shooting rockets at moving targets, like leading and shit, he misses each time. Then Batman comes in with his tank and shoots at the clown's truck. So the clown gets pissed and pwns Batman's tank. A motorcycle with guns on it drives out of the blown up tank and Batman uses it to jack-knife the clown's semi. Then Batman punches the clown, but the clown pulls a gun a Batman. Then the cop who was supposed to be dead smacks the clown and sticks a shotgun in his face, as he wasn't actually dead.
So Batman, the not-dead cop and the mayor go to the jail with the clown and the clown's butt-buddies. There the mayor says that as the not-dead cop is the highest ranking cop who hasn't been offed, that he's the commissioner now. Then Batman takes the clown into a room and he beats him up and asks him questions. Apparently the district attorney and the Chick who is no longer Tom Cruise's wife were stolen. The clown tells Batman their place and Batman goes to save the chick. Then as Batman leaves one of the clown's butt-buddies blows up and the clown is able to escape.
Batman goes to the place but finds the District Attorney, their instead of the chick. But he got flammable stuff on his face and when the building blows up half his face burns off. So then a guy from BatmanTech™ says he'll tell everyone that Batman is Batman. The clown is all like "For God's sake, fuck this shit." And starts blowing up hospitals until that guys doesn't say that Batman is Batman. In one of the hospitals the clown tells the District Attorney that is burned-face is ugly. This pisses him off, so he goes out and starts killing all the guys who call him ugly.
Then the clown is in a building with his guys and the people he stole from the hospitals. At the same time a bunch of guys are escaping the city on boats. But one of the boats needs to be full of criminals so that they don't escape and help the clown. The police are about to shoot the clown's butt-buddies, but Batman says no. Then the clown says that he put bombs on the boats, and that he says that the not-criminals have a chance to blow up the criminals boat, and vice-versa. Upon hearing this, the criminals throw their bomb-exploding device out of the window. The not-criminals take a vote and being the pussy-faggots that they are, agree to blow up the criminals, however they are really, really, really big pussy-faggots, so they are all to pussy to actually DO IT FAGGOT!. Then Batman realizes that the guys who look like hospital guys are really the clown's butt-buddies, and the clown's butt-buddies are really hospital guys, and then the police are coming in to shoot-up the place, so Batman just beats up everyone. He then finds the clown and punches him in the face and ties him up with cables and shit.
But the burned faced district attorney is about to kill the police commissioner's family, as they called him ugly also. So then Batman comes in and accidentally the district attorney (all 93.3 megabytes of it). And instead of blaming his death, and the death of all the guys he killed on that clown guy, who is overdue for a death sentence anyway, they decide for no reason at all to blame it on Batman.
The end.
OF EPISODE 2!
Episode 3: Tiberian Sun
I haven't written this one yet, but I do intend to eventually.
Last edited by Doctor Strangelove (2010-04-22 06:59:05)
