Sgt.Gh0st
Pump-Action Pimp
+16|7049|The Hague, Holland
Why I started this guide? Because I wanted to wright a guide and all the other topics I'm pretty much good at were already token, therefor I wright this one because I have much expierence with this sort of gaming.

This will be a guide for all you starting players that whant to really annoy the living crap out of ppl.
I reconmend you will not use this information in any way possible. You wil be hated, kicked, banned, (team)killed, get a sperm problem, lose your car and all other kind of misfortune.

Bunnyhoping

Bunnyhopping has been in games for ever and probably wil stay to. Basicly Bunnyhoping is jumping around your opponent trying to dodge their bullets and disorientate them so you can get an easy kill. I do this alot and it Will save my ass. Personally I dont understand Why people have a grudge against Bunnyhopping. Maybe its because players usually hit the dirt once they spotted an enemy coming right for them *Looking at You Support players*.
And every body knows how hard it is to go prone and shoot a bunnyhopping "n00b".
Would you bunnyhob? Its all up to you.
Caution may irritate some people.

Camping

Camping basicly is to put yourself in a major advantage to gun down helpless enemy victims *also known as spawn-raping*. Over my hours playing BF2 i've seen countless of types of Camping. Hovering in a helicopter over a spawn point *usually the last able spawn-point of the enemy*, or bombing-runs with Jets.
CautionCamping (or also known as vehicle-whoring) could be forbidden on some servers.

VoIP

Every lamer with a mic. will eventually have the urge to scream useless or even obscene things to his/her teammates. Things like "I pwnt ur mom yesterday" and of that kind will be heard occasionally. Look up some dirty words in your dictonary and start ranting.
Caution probably will get you voted off and shot at by teammembers.

Punishment

Ah yes, the most hated feature of them all in my opionon. It seems that people stopped believing that accidents could happen and start punishing for everything. How to lame with the punishment feature.. Well basicly stand infront of friendly vehicles so they pretty much Have to drive you over so you can immediatly push Page Down and let some unhappy fella pay for his sins that he never would have done. Also a good way to let friendly's kill you is by shooting them with your pistol but not kill them. Just shoot at them till they reach the last 2 bars or so *it helps to be a medic for this trick*.
Caution I certainly do NOT reconmend this. Punishers are the lowest form of gamers in my opinion and if you punish for no reason at all you will probably gain another enemy in the round .

Spamming

Typing unneccesary stuff and hitting the Q button over and over in a certain period of time is considerd spamming. However there is an in-game anti spam system that will block you from spamming for 30 sec.
Spamming isnt that bad but would suit the stereotype of a Lamer

There are many more ways to lame but I dont whant to wright them down now because im Lazy
Once again I must say that you DO NOT FOLLOW THESE TIPS because it simply isnt cool .
Play in a normal with your teammates and do everything to bad the n00bs who do any of the things that are stated above.

If any of you have any adjustments or comments, feel free to reply.
I hope none of you will be offended by this on anyway and I hope you will enjoy.

-Sgt.Gh0st

Last edited by Sgt.Gh0st (2005-10-26 09:38:26)

<eN>Madcat
Member
+2|7107
Been done, it was a hilarious guide on some site, he was putting the perspective that he was good and always did this.  Its somewhere... I didn't get the "I jsut shit my pants feeling" out of this.  SOrry
DrDestruction
Utilityman
+1|7044
You should add one there for TS:  Hotmic-ing.
Rogness
The English Redneck
+10|7071|Plymouth, England

<eN>Madcat wrote:

Been done, it was a hilarious guide on some site, he was putting the perspective that he was good and always did this.  Its somewhere... I didn't get the "I jsut shit my pants feeling" out of this.  SOrry
Well, it made me laugh Sgt.Gh0st - nice one.

Totally agree with you about the punishers (and he was always so cool in the comic! ).  Perhaps we could send them over to you at The Hague

Last edited by Rogness (2005-10-26 09:37:58)

prodigy
Member
+0|7035
well said..boy, we have some smart members in NVS lol
WhiteBoy88
Member
+0|7027|The Hairy Mole On Earth's Ass
You could always add in the ever-popular practice of childish name calling.

examples: bastard, whore, slut, bitch, etc. (I took the chopper, so now I have a very shared sexual life, or maybe no father, etc.)

random racial jabs (usually made to the wrong race)

n00b! (an all-time favorite, regardless of my gaming/computer skills/knowledge)

various anatomical parts, usually genitalia- or digestive-related (the "caller" is almost guaranteed not to know what that part really is, but he might know the "area")

any of those 4-letter words (such as "frog", "tile", or even "even")

or maybe: stupid little kid (I love being called this, since the US government thinks I'm old enough to die defending said government, and the person calling me said name probably isn't out of middle/high school yet)

And lastly, a formula for creating your own childish names:
"bad" word + other random word = childish name
cock + waffle = cockwaffle
butt + hampster = butthampster
crotch + goblin = crotchgoblin
Get the idea? Good, now don't ever do it in a game, because while it has no immediate effect, it will eventually piss everyone off.
Sgt.Gh0st
Pump-Action Pimp
+16|7049|The Hague, Holland

Rogness wrote:

<eN>Madcat wrote:

Been done, it was a hilarious guide on some site, he was putting the perspective that he was good and always did this.  Its somewhere... I didn't get the "I jsut shit my pants feeling" out of this.  SOrry
Well, it made me laugh Sgt.Gh0st - nice one.

Totally agree with you about the punishers (and he was always so cool in the comic! ).  Perhaps we could send them over to you at The Hague
Cool, thnx man. I never saw the comics, did saw the movie.
Daemoniacus
Member
+0|7026
Hmm... I've finally figured out why people look at me funny when I say, "bunny hopping."  I thought it meant when you go from flag to flag really quick which usually only succeeds in gaining the flag and losing it immediately after you've moved to the next.  I used to "bunny hop" until I learned how to aim. 

Also, let's not forget frivolous voting.  I don't know how many times I've been mutinied against while the team was winning 200-45.  I love that.  Of course, I've never been mutinied against successfully, but just knowing that someone is wasting their time instead of helping the team win makes me think there are too many butthamsters out there.  Thanks for the new word WhiteBoy88.

Last edited by Daemoniacus (2005-10-26 11:08:16)

Sgt.Gh0st
Pump-Action Pimp
+16|7049|The Hague, Holland
Ofcourse the unessesary voting is a pain aswell!

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