AI shouldn't be abused
Last edited by SuperJail Warden (2025-09-04 17:14:49)
- SuperJail Warden
- Gone Forever
- +668|4218
i never use it, even though i'm aware it is superior to google search in so many ways. hell, i know there are other search engines out there today which are far better than google, but i still haven't amended my ways.
- SuperJail Warden
- Gone Forever
- +668|4218
I was thinking over Uzique's problem. I realized a solution!
He needs to hit his fiance. Maybe not even hit her. Just shake her a little.
After you give her a good shake apologize, cry, and blame it on the cat.
Otherwise I am out of ideas other than smoking the cat and seeing if she will stay.
He needs to hit his fiance. Maybe not even hit her. Just shake her a little.
After you give her a good shake apologize, cry, and blame it on the cat.
Otherwise I am out of ideas other than smoking the cat and seeing if she will stay.
i have really lost my rag a few times at this point tbh, nothing near being violent but really throwing one's hat on the floor and stamping on it in a rage, in the manner of a victorian gentleman who has just watched his horse fall at the steeplechase. that's about as angry as i ever want to get. after that moving out and moving on is really the only viable next steps.
btw, i came home today and she had set up cat tree number 3. a deluxe thing, three-tiered, and huge. we are back to the situation i found myself in at the start of this move, being thoroughly unhappy that the entire flat is basically cat furniture. every single space is dominated by a large, looming piece of cat architecture. it's really crap. i know the advice of the cat trainer was 'make it comfortable, remove sources of stress, introduce forms of exercise and stimulation', but my home looks like a fucking cross-fit gym for cats. plonked right down in the corner where i wanted one of my hi-fi speakers to go. the symbolism speaks for itself. i am not paying a big wedge to build a palatial home for a neurotic lesser mammal.
btw, i came home today and she had set up cat tree number 3. a deluxe thing, three-tiered, and huge. we are back to the situation i found myself in at the start of this move, being thoroughly unhappy that the entire flat is basically cat furniture. every single space is dominated by a large, looming piece of cat architecture. it's really crap. i know the advice of the cat trainer was 'make it comfortable, remove sources of stress, introduce forms of exercise and stimulation', but my home looks like a fucking cross-fit gym for cats. plonked right down in the corner where i wanted one of my hi-fi speakers to go. the symbolism speaks for itself. i am not paying a big wedge to build a palatial home for a neurotic lesser mammal.
Last edited by uziq (2025-09-06 07:39:55)
imo too many cat toys and too much cat furniture is a bit like throwing too many options at a small child. perhaps rather, too many games into a steam library.
cats are not that complex. they're satisfied with a minimum amount of toys, even makeshift, even a singular toy. they don't need a cat tree in every room. or, really, a cat tree at all, if there are other somewhat high places in their regular haunts they're allowed to hop onto. a cat would probably spend most of its time snoozing at desk height by their favorite person. i think a lot of the cat biz with this stuff is mainly boosted by the human impulse to collect things.
i should be cautious about making assumptions, but perhaps in this case, she's trying to make the problem go away by throwing money at it.
you can probably still plunk your speaker around there or wall mount it above the cat tree? skooch the tree like a meter away. just somewhere the cat won't claw on it. if cat stuff is allowed to dominate the whole place (as large as you've said it is), you may end up joining many other men in being stereotypically exiled to a mancave.
'mancave,' there's a word with distasteful connotations i run into a bunch. "her space is everything else," "the bosslady," "she runs a tight ship." the thoughts of passive misogyny. stand up for yourself! sheesh. almost exclusively from men who expect their significant other to do all the housework. they remain willfully ignorant on that stuff. if you're not allowed in the kitchen, maybe stop throwing raw pork in the drawer with the fruit. imagine the wakeup call for divorcee manchildren.
cats are not that complex. they're satisfied with a minimum amount of toys, even makeshift, even a singular toy. they don't need a cat tree in every room. or, really, a cat tree at all, if there are other somewhat high places in their regular haunts they're allowed to hop onto. a cat would probably spend most of its time snoozing at desk height by their favorite person. i think a lot of the cat biz with this stuff is mainly boosted by the human impulse to collect things.
i should be cautious about making assumptions, but perhaps in this case, she's trying to make the problem go away by throwing money at it.
you can probably still plunk your speaker around there or wall mount it above the cat tree? skooch the tree like a meter away. just somewhere the cat won't claw on it. if cat stuff is allowed to dominate the whole place (as large as you've said it is), you may end up joining many other men in being stereotypically exiled to a mancave.
'mancave,' there's a word with distasteful connotations i run into a bunch. "her space is everything else," "the bosslady," "she runs a tight ship." the thoughts of passive misogyny. stand up for yourself! sheesh. almost exclusively from men who expect their significant other to do all the housework. they remain willfully ignorant on that stuff. if you're not allowed in the kitchen, maybe stop throwing raw pork in the drawer with the fruit. imagine the wakeup call for divorcee manchildren.
Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2025-09-06 09:12:21)
for me, it's a relationship ender simply because i feel my entire life here is conditional on whether the cat plays ball or not.
she has basically communicated that sending the cat away, having a close relative care for it, putting it back up for adoption, etc. are firm no-nos and lines she isn't willing to cross. that therefore gives me a message of 'adjust to it or leave'. my entire existence in this house is conditional on whether or not someone else's pet takes to training. i'm willing to help with that training but ... a bit of a hard reality check, eh?
she's unhappy that i'm not continuing to furnish the house and set it up as 'home'. but how do i explain to her that it's the only rational choice in my situation? pour thousands of dollars more a month into furnishings and decoration when i might be moving out in a few short months, depending on whether or not the cat behaves? how is that a way for two adults in middle-age to do life planning?
it is also just breeding silly amounts of resentment. i think a person who lets an animal occupy this centre stage in ther life is frankly pathetic. she woke up this morning and, while i was still in bed, went straight to the cat to sit on the floor playing with it for an hour. i keep saying to her 'i thought the idea was to try and disconnect the cat's sense that making noise in the morning will equal you giving it food and playtime as soon as it decides its wake-up time'. she was like 'oh, i had to come in here to charge my phone'. just such a total and stupid unwillingness to do the right things at this point.
she has basically communicated that sending the cat away, having a close relative care for it, putting it back up for adoption, etc. are firm no-nos and lines she isn't willing to cross. that therefore gives me a message of 'adjust to it or leave'. my entire existence in this house is conditional on whether or not someone else's pet takes to training. i'm willing to help with that training but ... a bit of a hard reality check, eh?
she's unhappy that i'm not continuing to furnish the house and set it up as 'home'. but how do i explain to her that it's the only rational choice in my situation? pour thousands of dollars more a month into furnishings and decoration when i might be moving out in a few short months, depending on whether or not the cat behaves? how is that a way for two adults in middle-age to do life planning?
it is also just breeding silly amounts of resentment. i think a person who lets an animal occupy this centre stage in ther life is frankly pathetic. she woke up this morning and, while i was still in bed, went straight to the cat to sit on the floor playing with it for an hour. i keep saying to her 'i thought the idea was to try and disconnect the cat's sense that making noise in the morning will equal you giving it food and playtime as soon as it decides its wake-up time'. she was like 'oh, i had to come in here to charge my phone'. just such a total and stupid unwillingness to do the right things at this point.
Last edited by uziq (2025-09-06 16:12:36)
- SuperJail Warden
- Gone Forever
- +668|4218
$10,000 and plane ticket and I will abduct the cat.
bf2s translation: mac threatens to fly to japan to punch a cat in the face.
Seems like she's trying to help but also avoiding making any change, also she's addicted to the cat.uziq wrote:
for me, it's a relationship ender simply because i feel my entire life here is conditional on whether the cat plays ball or not.
she has basically communicated that sending the cat away, having a close relative care for it, putting it back up for adoption, etc. are firm no-nos and lines she isn't willing to cross. that therefore gives me a message of 'adjust to it or leave'. my entire existence in this house is conditional on whether or not someone else's pet takes to training. i'm willing to help with that training but ... a bit of a hard reality check, eh?
she's unhappy that i'm not continuing to furnish the house and set it up as 'home'. but how do i explain to her that it's the only rational choice in my situation? pour thousands of dollars more a month into furnishings and decoration when i might be moving out in a few short months, depending on whether or not the cat behaves? how is that a way for two adults in middle-age to do life planning?
it is also just breeding silly amounts of resentment. i think a person who lets an animal occupy this centre stage in ther life is frankly pathetic. she woke up this morning and, while i was still in bed, went straight to the cat to sit on the floor playing with it for an hour. i keep saying to her 'i thought the idea was to try and disconnect the cat's sense that making noise in the morning will equal you giving it food and playtime as soon as it decides its wake-up time'. she was like 'oh, i had to come in here to charge my phone'. just such a total and stupid unwillingness to do the right things at this point.
Maybe she should go away for a week and get some perspective.
Abduct Uzique's partner and put her in a pit until she's applied enough lotion and seen the error in her ways.Macbeth wrote:
$10,000 and plane ticket and I will abduct the cat.
Fuck Israel
This whole cat thing is making me irrationally angry. Cat people are the worst. Closely followed by cats.
yeah this is essentially what has become increasingly apparent to me, living with her and the cat in close proximity.Dilbert_X wrote:
Seems like she's trying to help but also avoiding making any change, also she's addicted to the cat.uziq wrote:
for me, it's a relationship ender simply because i feel my entire life here is conditional on whether the cat plays ball or not.
she has basically communicated that sending the cat away, having a close relative care for it, putting it back up for adoption, etc. are firm no-nos and lines she isn't willing to cross. that therefore gives me a message of 'adjust to it or leave'. my entire existence in this house is conditional on whether or not someone else's pet takes to training. i'm willing to help with that training but ... a bit of a hard reality check, eh?
she's unhappy that i'm not continuing to furnish the house and set it up as 'home'. but how do i explain to her that it's the only rational choice in my situation? pour thousands of dollars more a month into furnishings and decoration when i might be moving out in a few short months, depending on whether or not the cat behaves? how is that a way for two adults in middle-age to do life planning?
it is also just breeding silly amounts of resentment. i think a person who lets an animal occupy this centre stage in ther life is frankly pathetic. she woke up this morning and, while i was still in bed, went straight to the cat to sit on the floor playing with it for an hour. i keep saying to her 'i thought the idea was to try and disconnect the cat's sense that making noise in the morning will equal you giving it food and playtime as soon as it decides its wake-up time'. she was like 'oh, i had to come in here to charge my phone'. just such a total and stupid unwillingness to do the right things at this point.
Maybe she should go away for a week and get some perspective.Abduct Uzique's partner and put her in a pit until she's applied enough lotion and seen the error in her ways.Macbeth wrote:
$10,000 and plane ticket and I will abduct the cat.
before we moved in, it was 'our new start', we were committed to trying to make things work.
actually, i've seen that her and the cat are horribly co-dependent, they're fixed in their ways, and when presented with the brute facts that 'right now the way you've arranged your life will alienate and exclude anyone who tries to live with you', she tends to get defensive and say 'oh well, a life of being a lonely cat mom for me it is then!' very frustrating to see it up close.
she also likes to prize herself on her 'sensible and rational' arguing style, and sure enough she does communicate maturity and respect ... most of the time. but when criticising the cat she immediately starts to stonewall, goes silent, refuses to cooperate, answers in snappy one-liners and often resolves to childish exaggerations or pedantry. 'oh, so how long should i leave it in the morning before greeting her? 10 minutes? 15 minutes? tell me'. like i have to tell her in authoritarian and overwhelming detail how to not make her cat so fucking insane and antisocial.
I don't have much except to convince her its in the cat's best interests to be more independent and sociable.
Its not natural for an adult cat to be in this dependent mother-kitten state, its unbalanced, it could end up wholly neurotic.
It would probably be perfectly happy with a less dependent relationship and on a schedule which doesn't include getting up at 4am
You need to be careful though
People get into all kinds of strange co-dependent loops, the cat depends on me, therefore I must continue with my life, if the cat doesn't depend on me I have no reason to continue, so the cat must be dependent on me etc.
It seems like her recent past is a bit messed up and people do fall into this. Isn't Japan big on hikkimori and so on?
A lonely cat-mom life might sound romantic, if she got hit by a bus the cat will not be rehomable and will have to be put down - this is a dangerous alley to go down but it is a point.
Would the extended family take it? Maybe not with the behavioural issues.
Its in everyone's interests for the cat to be more sociable and flexible. What is her actual priority though - herself or the cat?
This might tell you something.
Cats which have had a fractured start in life can be difficult to re-socialise with other people and other cats. This part I don't know much about, I doubt its impossible. The cat isn't too old at least.
Despite what I said above I would think a competent foster carer would have the cat ironed out in a month or so - but the cat would be at the back of the queue and they don't all get the chance - the back end of the queue gets put down.
Probably you need a counsellor who can deal with your partner more than the cat.
Ideally one who can assess them both.
Its not natural for an adult cat to be in this dependent mother-kitten state, its unbalanced, it could end up wholly neurotic.
It would probably be perfectly happy with a less dependent relationship and on a schedule which doesn't include getting up at 4am
You need to be careful though
People get into all kinds of strange co-dependent loops, the cat depends on me, therefore I must continue with my life, if the cat doesn't depend on me I have no reason to continue, so the cat must be dependent on me etc.
It seems like her recent past is a bit messed up and people do fall into this. Isn't Japan big on hikkimori and so on?
A lonely cat-mom life might sound romantic, if she got hit by a bus the cat will not be rehomable and will have to be put down - this is a dangerous alley to go down but it is a point.
Would the extended family take it? Maybe not with the behavioural issues.
Its in everyone's interests for the cat to be more sociable and flexible. What is her actual priority though - herself or the cat?
This might tell you something.
Cats which have had a fractured start in life can be difficult to re-socialise with other people and other cats. This part I don't know much about, I doubt its impossible. The cat isn't too old at least.
Despite what I said above I would think a competent foster carer would have the cat ironed out in a month or so - but the cat would be at the back of the queue and they don't all get the chance - the back end of the queue gets put down.
Probably you need a counsellor who can deal with your partner more than the cat.
Ideally one who can assess them both.
Last edited by Dilbert_X (2025-09-07 04:46:17)
Fuck Israel
doing it for the cat could be a good angle. healthy for the cat to see a kitty daycare now and then and get used to one and socialized to other cat lovers and cats ahead of time if there's an emergency and nobody can care for it. being boarded in isolation is the alternative.
the snag is if the cat owner is being irrational about it.
again, i speak from experience that living with people who respond to criticism or challenge in negative ways including those detailed the last few pages in this thread is no fun for anyone. even after learning which parts of the various eggshells you can trod upon without something cracking, ugh. be silent if you want to preserve the peace! hopefully it's not actually as bad as that over there.
the snag is if the cat owner is being irrational about it.
again, i speak from experience that living with people who respond to criticism or challenge in negative ways including those detailed the last few pages in this thread is no fun for anyone. even after learning which parts of the various eggshells you can trod upon without something cracking, ugh. be silent if you want to preserve the peace! hopefully it's not actually as bad as that over there.