Oh sure, you got First Sergeant a while ago. And you thought... wow, I just had 8,000 points from my last promotion. Hmm... what's next? Christ! 30,000 more points to get my Sergeant Major?! WTF?! You are now ready.....
Your next step is to begin the 5 steps of grief.
1 .Denial (uh, that can't be right... 50,000 points for my next promotion?)
2. Anger (What idiot thought of this? Gawddam! where's a small dog I can kick?)
3. Bargaining (Hmmm... maybe if I wall hack at Karkand?)
4. Depression (I'm never going to get there... woe is me)
5. Acceptance (I can do this. I am a dedicated BF2 addict)
Granted, getting to step 5 may take some time. I know It took me a while and quite a few small dogs. I am here to help you make this jump. Because, frankly, if you don't have a badge with a star in it... you're just a maggot and should drop and give me 20.
Here is a point by point method to achieving this magnificent feat:
1. Make time
A. First, you've been waaaay too family friendly. You need to drop that attitude right away. Your family can wait, the Sgt. Major rank cannot. This includes girlfriends, wives, children (especially stepchildren), and grandparents.
B. Job? Who needs a job? That's what chumps are for. Maybe you can tap the 401K? Maybe you have some sick time saved up? After all, you ARE one sick puppy to give a crap about a Sgt. Major rank, right?
C. Sleep can go too. I had a friend in college tell me once that I can sleep all I want when I'm dead. And so can you.
2. Get good
A. Learn to chopper whore on sharqi.
B. Learn to J10 whore on Wake
C. Be a medic and throw med packs everywhere. On the tank. At the spawn site. When you're going #2. If you're walking, you're throwing a med pack. And if you're not throwing a med pack, you're reviving the guy that's died in front of the APC. He won't mind. I promise. Tell him you only have 29000 more points to go.
3. Don't die - If you're dead, you're not making points
A. Run in a squad with a medic. Make sure he revives you so you can keep pointing.
B. Keep moving. Snipers love guys that stand still and run in predictable lines.
4. Meds (somewhat associated with #1 in making time)
A. This is an excellent time to fall off the crystal meth wagon.
B. Coffee. Mmm... coffee
C. Vivarin? Does anyone use this anymore?
-Point is, if you're sleeping, you don't have points racking up. Meds can help. (Please obey your local laws.)
5. Team points are the key.
A. Stay away from assault - Nobody gets a point for your stupid smoke bomb.
B. Stay away from Anti Tank. You're nothing but tank fodder anyways.
C. Did I mention medic?
D. Engineer is ok... but you'll be lucky to get 10 repair points in a game. You'll get that many pts with revives in your sleep (but who has time for sleep?)
So, if you're like me, you can get about 100 points per hour of play. You need @300 hours. This is 10 hours per day for one month straight. Or.... focus on point #4 and make it 13 days all at once.
Please note I am not responsible for custody battles, divorces, frying pans to the head, or complete loss of sex drive. Good luck. Just 30,000 more points. Now drop and give me 20.
Your next step is to begin the 5 steps of grief.
1 .Denial (uh, that can't be right... 50,000 points for my next promotion?)
2. Anger (What idiot thought of this? Gawddam! where's a small dog I can kick?)
3. Bargaining (Hmmm... maybe if I wall hack at Karkand?)
4. Depression (I'm never going to get there... woe is me)
5. Acceptance (I can do this. I am a dedicated BF2 addict)
Granted, getting to step 5 may take some time. I know It took me a while and quite a few small dogs. I am here to help you make this jump. Because, frankly, if you don't have a badge with a star in it... you're just a maggot and should drop and give me 20.
Here is a point by point method to achieving this magnificent feat:
1. Make time
A. First, you've been waaaay too family friendly. You need to drop that attitude right away. Your family can wait, the Sgt. Major rank cannot. This includes girlfriends, wives, children (especially stepchildren), and grandparents.
B. Job? Who needs a job? That's what chumps are for. Maybe you can tap the 401K? Maybe you have some sick time saved up? After all, you ARE one sick puppy to give a crap about a Sgt. Major rank, right?
C. Sleep can go too. I had a friend in college tell me once that I can sleep all I want when I'm dead. And so can you.
2. Get good
A. Learn to chopper whore on sharqi.
B. Learn to J10 whore on Wake
C. Be a medic and throw med packs everywhere. On the tank. At the spawn site. When you're going #2. If you're walking, you're throwing a med pack. And if you're not throwing a med pack, you're reviving the guy that's died in front of the APC. He won't mind. I promise. Tell him you only have 29000 more points to go.
3. Don't die - If you're dead, you're not making points
A. Run in a squad with a medic. Make sure he revives you so you can keep pointing.
B. Keep moving. Snipers love guys that stand still and run in predictable lines.
4. Meds (somewhat associated with #1 in making time)
A. This is an excellent time to fall off the crystal meth wagon.
B. Coffee. Mmm... coffee
C. Vivarin? Does anyone use this anymore?
-Point is, if you're sleeping, you don't have points racking up. Meds can help. (Please obey your local laws.)
5. Team points are the key.
A. Stay away from assault - Nobody gets a point for your stupid smoke bomb.
B. Stay away from Anti Tank. You're nothing but tank fodder anyways.
C. Did I mention medic?
D. Engineer is ok... but you'll be lucky to get 10 repair points in a game. You'll get that many pts with revives in your sleep (but who has time for sleep?)
So, if you're like me, you can get about 100 points per hour of play. You need @300 hours. This is 10 hours per day for one month straight. Or.... focus on point #4 and make it 13 days all at once.
Please note I am not responsible for custody battles, divorces, frying pans to the head, or complete loss of sex drive. Good luck. Just 30,000 more points. Now drop and give me 20.
