DISCLAIMER: Please note before reading this that it is indeed satrical so don't go "zOMG!111 U r 4 n00b!111"
Why hello fair user, thank you for stopping by in this article. I have seen many topics recently talking about how so and so admin did this, and so and so admin did that! Well it's not their fault, it's all yours. Let me explain in this following list:
1) Admins count for more than one person. So when an Admin kicks you to make room for yourself, and the server is 20/32, just note that that admin must take up 12 spaces. Some Admins take up more space than others. So don't worry, that Admin definately was not an envious noob. Definately.
2) Admins always have the best ways of explaining to you why you were kicked. Just by stating a simple "lol", you immeadiantly know how you acted wrong and beg for forgiveness. Admins just explain crystal clear why you got banned and always have the best reasons! How dare you try to ride in the Admin's chopper.
3) Don't ever attack an Admin, even when they are on the other team. It is your responsibility as a user to let that Admin win. Killing an Admin is a bannable offense, and you definately deserve it.
4) Somehow, the Admin's computer will glitch up momentarily and make it seem as if there are a bunch of enemies in an outpost when there are none. This is not his fault, so if you are just chilling there and he sends artillery on you, just know there wasn't much the Admin could do. He just had to do artillery, and rack up just one kill. A team kill. Definately do not punish.
5) Supplies should only be spawned where the Admin is. A single Admin deserves supplies more than an entire squad, so if by a rare chance the Admin did not become Commander, make sure you continuously send the Admin supplies.
6) If an Admin blows up your tank with C4s, he was probably just trying to get rid of the misquito on your armor. Don't worry, the Admin probably killed the mosquito. So what if he accidently killed you? He's an Admin!
7) Never even get near a plane/car/helicopter/tank/or anything cool. Those are reserved for Admins only. If you take an Admin's vehicle, which is all of the vehicles on the map, you deserve to be banned. And probably will be.
8) Isn't it amazing the pristine grammar all Admins have. I sigh in awe as the Admin says "l0xx0r u n00b!111". Such genius, such talent. What's even more special is the Admin's 0 point ratio for the game. How amazing!
9) All servers have a rule "No pwning", so therefore if you do something too skillful, you are breaking the server rules and will be banned. Plain and simple: Don't be a good team member. That's the Admin's job.
10) Whatever the Admin says is true. If the Admin kicks you because you hacked his account, you probably did. Don't deny the truth. Next time don't do something the Admin dissapproves of. Even if you didn't do it, the Admin's word is final.
11) If you're riding in the Admin's helicopter, and he crashes into the water, note that there was probably a good reason he did it. Maybe there was an invisible enemy there that he successfully killed, only BF2 glitched up and didn't display the kill. Admins do that a lot. Just accept the fact that the Admin killed someone and is not a poor pilot.
12) Admins never act higher than any of the other users. Admins and team mates get along in perfect harmony, of course the team members respect the Admin greatly. Always expect a helping hand from the Admin. The Admin always does the right thing.
13) Things like accidently running over your Admin or only racking 5 kills for a round, contrary to popular belief, are serious offenses. You may notice that you become banned for that. Actually, there are no minor offenses. Everything is major.
14) Don't apply to be Commander. That's the Admin's job. You will probably be kicked or banned for taking the Admin's rightful throne as Commander. Yeah, probably banned.
15) Don't expect the Admin to join a squad. He's a one-man army. So much more skilled than all of you. Just requesting he does that will probably just show that you need the Admin's help, but be prepared for him to mash down the page down button so many times it's not funny. Also expect comments like "i c4n d0 wh4t i w4n7 l0l im adm1n!1111" and "fuk u fag!111 lol111"
More:
16) There are high chances that should you earn the Gold Medal, you will be banned. Coincedentally, the Admin will earn that medal. Obviously he was more deserving.
17) Common server rules:
Don't spawn kill (Doesn't apply to Admin)
Don't bunny hop (Doesn't apply to Admin)
No hacking (Definately doesn't apply to Admin)
Don't drink Coca~Cola (Okay, this one may apply to the Admin... Sometimes)
And anything else is a bannable offense if the Admin finds necessary.
18) When the Admin supposedly needs to make room for a friend/another Admin, you somehow are always choosen to be kicked. That's kinda odd.
19) The most common times an Admin bans for the Hotel glitch (which isn't too often) are when he is sitting right in the Hotel.
20) Making a list that parodies Admins is will almost always get you banned. Then they will hunt you down, tie you to a chair, and slowly, but messily shave your skin off with knives. Yes, I'm a little risky... >
Why hello fair user, thank you for stopping by in this article. I have seen many topics recently talking about how so and so admin did this, and so and so admin did that! Well it's not their fault, it's all yours. Let me explain in this following list:
1) Admins count for more than one person. So when an Admin kicks you to make room for yourself, and the server is 20/32, just note that that admin must take up 12 spaces. Some Admins take up more space than others. So don't worry, that Admin definately was not an envious noob. Definately.
2) Admins always have the best ways of explaining to you why you were kicked. Just by stating a simple "lol", you immeadiantly know how you acted wrong and beg for forgiveness. Admins just explain crystal clear why you got banned and always have the best reasons! How dare you try to ride in the Admin's chopper.
3) Don't ever attack an Admin, even when they are on the other team. It is your responsibility as a user to let that Admin win. Killing an Admin is a bannable offense, and you definately deserve it.
4) Somehow, the Admin's computer will glitch up momentarily and make it seem as if there are a bunch of enemies in an outpost when there are none. This is not his fault, so if you are just chilling there and he sends artillery on you, just know there wasn't much the Admin could do. He just had to do artillery, and rack up just one kill. A team kill. Definately do not punish.
5) Supplies should only be spawned where the Admin is. A single Admin deserves supplies more than an entire squad, so if by a rare chance the Admin did not become Commander, make sure you continuously send the Admin supplies.
6) If an Admin blows up your tank with C4s, he was probably just trying to get rid of the misquito on your armor. Don't worry, the Admin probably killed the mosquito. So what if he accidently killed you? He's an Admin!
7) Never even get near a plane/car/helicopter/tank/or anything cool. Those are reserved for Admins only. If you take an Admin's vehicle, which is all of the vehicles on the map, you deserve to be banned. And probably will be.
8) Isn't it amazing the pristine grammar all Admins have. I sigh in awe as the Admin says "l0xx0r u n00b!111". Such genius, such talent. What's even more special is the Admin's 0 point ratio for the game. How amazing!
9) All servers have a rule "No pwning", so therefore if you do something too skillful, you are breaking the server rules and will be banned. Plain and simple: Don't be a good team member. That's the Admin's job.
10) Whatever the Admin says is true. If the Admin kicks you because you hacked his account, you probably did. Don't deny the truth. Next time don't do something the Admin dissapproves of. Even if you didn't do it, the Admin's word is final.
11) If you're riding in the Admin's helicopter, and he crashes into the water, note that there was probably a good reason he did it. Maybe there was an invisible enemy there that he successfully killed, only BF2 glitched up and didn't display the kill. Admins do that a lot. Just accept the fact that the Admin killed someone and is not a poor pilot.
12) Admins never act higher than any of the other users. Admins and team mates get along in perfect harmony, of course the team members respect the Admin greatly. Always expect a helping hand from the Admin. The Admin always does the right thing.
13) Things like accidently running over your Admin or only racking 5 kills for a round, contrary to popular belief, are serious offenses. You may notice that you become banned for that. Actually, there are no minor offenses. Everything is major.
14) Don't apply to be Commander. That's the Admin's job. You will probably be kicked or banned for taking the Admin's rightful throne as Commander. Yeah, probably banned.
15) Don't expect the Admin to join a squad. He's a one-man army. So much more skilled than all of you. Just requesting he does that will probably just show that you need the Admin's help, but be prepared for him to mash down the page down button so many times it's not funny. Also expect comments like "i c4n d0 wh4t i w4n7 l0l im adm1n!1111" and "fuk u fag!111 lol111"
More:
16) There are high chances that should you earn the Gold Medal, you will be banned. Coincedentally, the Admin will earn that medal. Obviously he was more deserving.
17) Common server rules:
Don't spawn kill (Doesn't apply to Admin)
Don't bunny hop (Doesn't apply to Admin)
No hacking (Definately doesn't apply to Admin)
Don't drink Coca~Cola (Okay, this one may apply to the Admin... Sometimes)
And anything else is a bannable offense if the Admin finds necessary.
18) When the Admin supposedly needs to make room for a friend/another Admin, you somehow are always choosen to be kicked. That's kinda odd.
19) The most common times an Admin bans for the Hotel glitch (which isn't too often) are when he is sitting right in the Hotel.
20) Making a list that parodies Admins is will almost always get you banned. Then they will hunt you down, tie you to a chair, and slowly, but messily shave your skin off with knives. Yes, I'm a little risky... >
Last edited by Watermeleon (2006-06-14 19:54:53)