Yeah but it would just have to be done for the ladsDoctorFruitloop wrote:
Bet it'd be the last thing you ever got to say to her!Jinto-sk wrote:
Venessa Kensington - I can't stop thinking about you with that woman last night
Austin Powers - You were right to be worried baby, I shagged her I shagged her rotten
(would love to say that just once to a lass)
My favorite: "There's two things I dislike in this world - people who hate people from other countries, and the Dutch" - Austin Powers
But then Anchorman has all the classics:
"Sex Panther - 50% of the time, it works 100% of the time. Whoa, pungent."
"What did you hit that guy with, a trident?"
"I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish".
"What are you jealous? Do pretend your not".
"Is that a Rainbow? Do me on it".
"Do you want to go to the pants party?"
But then Anchorman has all the classics:
"Sex Panther - 50% of the time, it works 100% of the time. Whoa, pungent."
"What did you hit that guy with, a trident?"
"I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish".
"What are you jealous? Do pretend your not".
"Is that a Rainbow? Do me on it".
"Do you want to go to the pants party?"
"Whoa!" - Any film with Keanu Reeves in. I mean, can this cat act or what [/sarcasm]
'Your mother was a Hamster and your father smelt, of Elderberries!' - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
I love that scene from Monty Python and The meaning of life with Mr Creosote, 'Just one more sir? it's only wafer thin!' BOOM!
I love that scene from Monty Python and The meaning of life with Mr Creosote, 'Just one more sir? it's only wafer thin!' BOOM!
"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."
Rory Breaker - Lock, Stock & Two smokin barrells
Rory Breaker - Lock, Stock & Two smokin barrells
"Fuckin northern pansies"Dieselboy wrote:
"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."
Rory Breaker - Lock, Stock & Two smokin barrells
"Fuckin southern softies"
"Ahh shit I've been shot"
"I don't fuckin believe this will everyone stop gettin shot"
"shotguns you mean guns that fire shots"
"Oh you must be the brains of the bunch"
Last edited by Jinto-sk (2006-07-17 07:08:11)
Bacon: "Harry didn't think that he did a very good job, so he grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which just so happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock, and proceeded to beat poor old Smithy to death with. And that was seen as a nice way to go. Now, that, is why you pay Hatchet Harry, when you owe"
Hehe
Hehe
From Top Gun.
"They must be close, I've got a hard-on"
"They must be close, I've got a hard-on"
"I kick ass for the Lord!"
Deadalive
Deadalive
Another lock stock quote
Tom: [after having just robbed Dog and his crew] Jesus, that wasn't too bad, was it?
Soap: When the bottle in my arse has contracted, I'll let you know.
Eddie: Bacon, see what we've got.
Bacon: Let's have a butcher's, eh?
[He inspects the loot]
Bacon: We've hit the jackpot, lads! We've got God-knows-how-much of this stinking weed, a shitload of cash... and a traffic warden.
Tom: What?
[Bacon holds up an unconscious man]
Tom: Jesus, Ed, we've got a traffic warden!
Bacon: I think he's still alive -- he's got claret coming out of him somewhere. What did they want with a traffic warden?
Eddie: I don't know, but I don't think we need him! Knock him out and dump him at the lights!
Bacon: Knock him out? What'd ya mean, knock him out? Knock him out with what?
Eddie: I don't know! Use your imagination!
[Bacon punches the Traffic Warden, who moans in pain.]
Tom: Don't touch him up! Knock him out!
Bacon: I'll knock you out in a minute! Look, you want to knock him out? You knock him out.
Eddie: I fucking hate traffic wardens.
[After a pause, Tom and Eddie jump into the back of the van with Bacon; all three proceed to batter the Traffic Warden senseless.]
Tom: [after having just robbed Dog and his crew] Jesus, that wasn't too bad, was it?
Soap: When the bottle in my arse has contracted, I'll let you know.
Eddie: Bacon, see what we've got.
Bacon: Let's have a butcher's, eh?
[He inspects the loot]
Bacon: We've hit the jackpot, lads! We've got God-knows-how-much of this stinking weed, a shitload of cash... and a traffic warden.
Tom: What?
[Bacon holds up an unconscious man]
Tom: Jesus, Ed, we've got a traffic warden!
Bacon: I think he's still alive -- he's got claret coming out of him somewhere. What did they want with a traffic warden?
Eddie: I don't know, but I don't think we need him! Knock him out and dump him at the lights!
Bacon: Knock him out? What'd ya mean, knock him out? Knock him out with what?
Eddie: I don't know! Use your imagination!
[Bacon punches the Traffic Warden, who moans in pain.]
Tom: Don't touch him up! Knock him out!
Bacon: I'll knock you out in a minute! Look, you want to knock him out? You knock him out.
Eddie: I fucking hate traffic wardens.
[After a pause, Tom and Eddie jump into the back of the van with Bacon; all three proceed to batter the Traffic Warden senseless.]
from now on i want you all to call me LORETTA
Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni !
Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv
Look you silly bastard you got no arms left >>> JUST A FLESH WOUND
Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni ! Ni !
Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv
Look you silly bastard you got no arms left >>> JUST A FLESH WOUND
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO:
You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me.
AMAZING:
And spank me.
STUNNER:
And me.
LOVELY:
And me.
DINGO:
Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight!
DINGO:
And after the spanking, the oral sex.
GIRLS:
The oral sex! The oral sex!
GALAHAD:
Well, I could stay a bit longer.
LAUNCELOT:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
Oh, hello.
LAUNCELOT:
Quick!
GALAHAD:
What?
LAUNCELOT:
Quick!
GALAHAD:
Why?
LAUNCELOT:
You are in great peril!
DINGO:
No, he isn't.
LAUNCELOT:
Silence, foul temptress!
GALAHAD:
You know, she's got a point.
LAUNCELOT:
Come on! We will cover your escape!
GALAHAD:
Look, I'm fine!
LAUNCELOT:
Come on!
GIRLS:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
GIRLS:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
LAUNCELOT:
No, Sir Galahad. Come on!
GALAHAD:
No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily.
DINGO:
Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily.
GIRLS:
Yes. Let him handle us easily.
LAUNCELOT:
No. Quick! Quick!
GALAHAD:
Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them!
DINGO:
Yes! Yes, he will beat us easily! We haven't a chance.
GIRLS:
We haven't a chance. He will beat us easily...
[boom]
DINGO:
Oh, shit.
A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO:
You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me.
AMAZING:
And spank me.
STUNNER:
And me.
LOVELY:
And me.
DINGO:
Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight!
DINGO:
And after the spanking, the oral sex.
GIRLS:
The oral sex! The oral sex!
GALAHAD:
Well, I could stay a bit longer.
LAUNCELOT:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
Oh, hello.
LAUNCELOT:
Quick!
GALAHAD:
What?
LAUNCELOT:
Quick!
GALAHAD:
Why?
LAUNCELOT:
You are in great peril!
DINGO:
No, he isn't.
LAUNCELOT:
Silence, foul temptress!
GALAHAD:
You know, she's got a point.
LAUNCELOT:
Come on! We will cover your escape!
GALAHAD:
Look, I'm fine!
LAUNCELOT:
Come on!
GIRLS:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
GIRLS:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
LAUNCELOT:
No, Sir Galahad. Come on!
GALAHAD:
No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily.
DINGO:
Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily.
GIRLS:
Yes. Let him handle us easily.
LAUNCELOT:
No. Quick! Quick!
GALAHAD:
Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them!
DINGO:
Yes! Yes, he will beat us easily! We haven't a chance.
GIRLS:
We haven't a chance. He will beat us easily...
[boom]
DINGO:
Oh, shit.
Quality, Tommy Boy? RIP Chris Farley.chippy1978 wrote:
And finally
did I catch a niner in there?
Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest
Elizabeth: "But what about the good moments?"
Jack:"Yeah i like those, like to wave at them when they pass by"
Elizabeth: "But what about the good moments?"
Jack:"Yeah i like those, like to wave at them when they pass by"
"Klaatu verrata n... Necktie... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word!" Army of darkness
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" Dr Strangelove
"No fu**ing sh** lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?" Die Hard
"I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass . . . and I'm all out of bubble gum." They Live
"Don't be stupid, be a smarty. Come and join the Nazi party." The Producers
"That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!" Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
"They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on double secret probation!" Animal House
"Donny, you're out of your element." The Big Lebowski
"Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?" Office Space
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" Dr Strangelove
"No fu**ing sh** lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?" Die Hard
"I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass . . . and I'm all out of bubble gum." They Live
"Don't be stupid, be a smarty. Come and join the Nazi party." The Producers
"That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!" Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
"They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on double secret probation!" Animal House
"Donny, you're out of your element." The Big Lebowski
"Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?" Office Space
"Please, get off, the nuke" - Armageddon (I think :\)
"WOULD YOU MIND NOT SHOOTING AT THE THERMO-NUCLEAR DEVICE!" - Broken Arrow
"It's like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles" - Saving Private Ryan
"Remember kids: A smart man knows when to stand his ground, and when to... RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!" - Desert Punk, Episode 1
"Welcome to Germany. You do not have the right to remain silent. You are not entitled to a attourney. If you cannot afford an attourny to which you are not entitled, you will not be appointed one. Welcome to Germany"
- Antibody (once again, not sure if this is right)
"WOULD YOU MIND NOT SHOOTING AT THE THERMO-NUCLEAR DEVICE!" - Broken Arrow
"It's like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles" - Saving Private Ryan
"Remember kids: A smart man knows when to stand his ground, and when to... RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!" - Desert Punk, Episode 1
"Welcome to Germany. You do not have the right to remain silent. You are not entitled to a attourney. If you cannot afford an attourny to which you are not entitled, you will not be appointed one. Welcome to Germany"
- Antibody (once again, not sure if this is right)
Last edited by Fenris_GreyClaw (2006-07-17 19:13:57)
"Three books? nobody said anything about three books!"
"the next one of you primates even touchs me!"
"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack left town."
"you loved me once"
"baby, you got ugly!"
"goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes"
"Good, Bad, I'm the one with the gun"
"I will swallow your soul!"
"Come get some"
"Shop smart shop S mart" - ASH, ARMY OF DARKNESS
and finally,
"Now, We're Fucked" Snatch
"the next one of you primates even touchs me!"
"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack left town."
"you loved me once"
"baby, you got ugly!"
"goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes, goody little two shoes"
"Good, Bad, I'm the one with the gun"
"I will swallow your soul!"
"Come get some"
"Shop smart shop S mart" - ASH, ARMY OF DARKNESS
and finally,
"Now, We're Fucked" Snatch
Last edited by Zilla (2006-07-17 07:56:52)
From "Waiting" with Ryan Reynolds / Tara Reid
So you're the coolest guy at Shenanigans, big fucking deal! That's like being the smartest person with Down Syndrome!
So you're the coolest guy at Shenanigans, big fucking deal! That's like being the smartest person with Down Syndrome!
"There was a FIRE FIGHT!!" -Boondock Saints
Army of Darkness has a shitload of awesome lines
"Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."
"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack left town."
Evil Sheila: "You found me beautiful once."
Ash: "Honey, you got real ugly."
Edit: looks like someone beat me to it. But mine are word for word.
Army of Darkness has a shitload of awesome lines
"Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."
"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack left town."
Evil Sheila: "You found me beautiful once."
Ash: "Honey, you got real ugly."
Edit: looks like someone beat me to it. But mine are word for word.
Last edited by Sin-nisterMinister (2006-07-17 07:56:43)
See my edit.
We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit! ~ TEAM AMERICA
Gary: Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get in your car and let you put your finger inside me. Then if I go down on you I get a movie part.
Spottswoode: Please, Gary, I'm not from Hollywood. I'm not going to fuck your mouth and my time is extremely valuable.
Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock. ~ Team America
Gary Johnston: I'm leaving. I'm out.
Spottswoode: No, Gary! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!
Gary Johnston: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!
Spottswoode: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.
Gary Johnston: No, they didn't!
Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy! ~ TEAM AMERICA
ok, tats all for now. yep, all from team america, i just watched it, and i was laughing my ass off.
Gary: Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get in your car and let you put your finger inside me. Then if I go down on you I get a movie part.
Spottswoode: Please, Gary, I'm not from Hollywood. I'm not going to fuck your mouth and my time is extremely valuable.
Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock. ~ Team America
Gary Johnston: I'm leaving. I'm out.
Spottswoode: No, Gary! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!
Gary Johnston: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!
Spottswoode: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.
Gary Johnston: No, they didn't!
Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy! ~ TEAM AMERICA
ok, tats all for now. yep, all from team america, i just watched it, and i was laughing my ass off.
The FUNNIEST movies of all time, are also the best for pulling hilarious quotes from. I speak, of course, about the 'Airplane!" movies:
Dr. Rumack:
Captain, how soon can you land?
Capt. Clarence Oveur:
I can't tell.
Dr. Rumack:
You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Capt. Clarence Oveur:
No, I mean, I'm just not sure.
Dr. Rumack:
Well, can't you take a guess?
Capt. Clarence Oveur:
Well, not for another two hours.
Dr. Rumack:
You can't take a guess "for another two hours"?
-----
Elaine Dickinson:
You got a telegram from headquarters today.
Ted Striker:
Headquarters--what is it?
Elaine Dickinson:
Well, it's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important right now.
-----
Randy:
There's been a little problem in the cockpit, and I was . . .
Ted Striker:
The cockpit--what is it?
Randy:
It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.
-----
Dr. Rumack:
You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson:
A hospital--what is it?
Dr. Rumack:
It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
-----
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.
-----
Plane preparing for takeoff:
Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
-----
Controller: I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... [pause] yes, birds too.
Dr. Rumack:
Captain, how soon can you land?
Capt. Clarence Oveur:
I can't tell.
Dr. Rumack:
You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Capt. Clarence Oveur:
No, I mean, I'm just not sure.
Dr. Rumack:
Well, can't you take a guess?
Capt. Clarence Oveur:
Well, not for another two hours.
Dr. Rumack:
You can't take a guess "for another two hours"?
-----
Elaine Dickinson:
You got a telegram from headquarters today.
Ted Striker:
Headquarters--what is it?
Elaine Dickinson:
Well, it's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important right now.
-----
Randy:
There's been a little problem in the cockpit, and I was . . .
Ted Striker:
The cockpit--what is it?
Randy:
It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.
-----
Dr. Rumack:
You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson:
A hospital--what is it?
Dr. Rumack:
It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
-----
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.
-----
Plane preparing for takeoff:
Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
-----
Controller: I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... [pause] yes, birds too.
"yeah a gun rack, like I even own a gun, never mind many guns that would necesitate a gun rack"
"not to day my good man, I'll be paying cash"
"shwing"
Waynes World
"not to day my good man, I'll be paying cash"
"shwing"
Waynes World
Here's another - close but not perfect:Sin-nisterMinister wrote:
"There was a FIRE FIGHT!!" -Boondock Saints
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/sin-niste … aints2.gif
Army of Darkness has a shitload of awesome lines
"Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."
"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack left town."
Evil Sheila: "You found me beautiful once."
Ash: "Honey, you got real ugly."
Edit: looks like someone beat me to it. But mine are word for word.
"Wait, you can't just leave. What about your promise?"
"That was just pillow talk baby. You know, so you'd sleep with me."
Billy, do you like Gladiator movies?KippCasper73 wrote:
The FUNNIEST movies of all time, are also the best for pulling hilarious quotes from. I speak, of course, about the 'Airplane!" movies: