You're situation wasn't so special, heart attacks happen every day. If you were a nervous wreck for those 20 minutes, I can't blame you in the least, but after those 20 minutes you should have been relieved. No need to be hung up on it.Poseidon wrote:
You had to see your father die in front of your eyes, wait for about 20 agonizing minutes to hear what happened and the finally be told he's okay?
Right..
And yes, I do have a long term fix. My education and my career path.
Why not deal with it? Erm, perhaps because I was in the worst emotional state I've ever been in, and dealing with it right then and there would probably have sent me over the edge (and no, not suicidal...)? And by smoking weed and being able to calm down and chill out, I could take the problem directly on sooner?
Having your father almost die, and your pet pass on, is not something that is dealt with over your lifetime. What's your problem with this? Talk to someone now about it, I don't know why it's still troubling you. Yes, it was traumatizing. But yes, move on.