1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7096|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
In my case a Dad.

I ain't sticking this in DST as I I'm still a DST thread virgin (I think).

I bang on about my lil girl a lot yeah I know but this isn't one of those threads, I will attempt to open some of your eyes to the perils of being a Dad.  Seeing as Fathers Day is almost upon us.

I split up with Mollies Mum last year for the 2nd time, I'm 33 now and Mollie is 8.

I have a GF she's 27 and her lil un 7.  The girls get on great and for the first time ever I am learning things, things which I have always taken for granted.  I can now, Blow Dry, Straighten hair.  Could always wash it and condition it.

Im struggling at doing Pony Tails, they are so hard to do.  If you put hair into a 'pony' it reduces the chances of getting gnits.  (Thats not a spelling mistake of a ruh ruh ruh rap group)

This is a gnit (prolly a spelling mistake but fuck it eh?)
https://uk.wrs.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTf2tkQDpKyUAAhS1WBQx./SIG=13bjfgl2q/EXP=1245417956/**http%3A//health.utah.gov/lhd/tooele/A_Assets/Images/Head_Lice/Family_Of_Lice%2520copy.gif
They are bastards, almost as much as parents who cant be fucked to de-gnit their kids hair.  Boys can get them but not as much as girls.  The lotion costs a tenna and has to be repeated 7 days after 1st dose, you get both doses out of the one lotion.

After washing the hair with just shampoo, you spray the shit on and leave it for 10 mins.  Then you part the hair into quarters and run a nit comb through from root to tip.  After each stroke with the comb you need to get the dead gnits/eggs off.  Putting the hair into Quarters is a real fucker, even harder than doing a 'pony'.  But I'm learning that and 'ponies', Ive just bought some heat protection spray so that after washing her hair I can spray this on and it will prevent split ends, or at least help when Im blow drying her hair.

Ive also learned how to paint toe and finger nails.  Fuck being just the Dad, I will do the Mum stuff aswell if the Mum cant be fucked to.

I have en-suite at mine and we are always at mine on a Thurs night and Sunday night, I try and shower her both of those nights as her Mum is a lazy fucker but tbf works 12 hour shifts, but not every day - I may seem harsh but she could do a lot more.

I have had to start buying her clothes, and for once not sports clothes.  I'm hopeless when it comes to fashion, Im not colour co-ordinated and struggle to make myself look decent, I try but fail miserably with her.  If it don't need ironing, put it on it will look fine.  Im trying to get a load of clothes at my house for her as when she comes to mine her Mum chucks in all shitty stuff that don't fit and don't match.  Thats an old trick Mums do with their kids to try and get at the Dads which fails and only ends up punishing the kid/s.

I pick her up 5.20pm Thurs, keep her over night and take her to school (Mum collects her).  I then pick her up late morning Saturday and keep her till I take her to school Monday morning.  I could have her every night of the week, b

I reckon I'm a few years away from talking about Birds, Bee's and Periods.  There is history here of complications when she was born and I'm dead nervous about her getting a BF.  At some stage I will have to go to the Hospital and find out what could ever happen if she did become pregnant, I dont want them to open her up and have a look at her belly, hopefully an ultrasound will work.  How The fuck am I going to talk about Periods?  My GF don't know that much herself and I cant trust Molls Mum to do the talk.

She says she wants to work with me when she leaves school, but I will never force her, I didn't have to do this and my Dad never pushed me to join the family buisness, but aslong as she don't fuck around in school and tries her hardest she can come here by all means.  She will be tri-lingual by then with Welsh and English being her main two and then she will have to learn another language.  She loves working with me already and is a pleasure to teach both in work and sport.

Thursday night tonight and I pick her up straight from her Mums, hopefully her Mum aint in and her Sister is looking after her.  Thens it's down to my GF's, I sort tea out there, the kids play, I clean up, go to mine about arf 8 and shower/dry moll and her hair, and get her asleep by 10 and then do my washing and stuff.  I pay £250 a month for my place but like I say stay there for maybe 2 nights a week.  Get there arf 8, out the door 8am.  When it kicks off with the GF though its a handy retreat to have.

I would never of thought when I grew up I would worry about what top goes with what bottoms and how the fuck do you get the hair into a pony tail.  How the fuck do I tell which clothes go on which dolls, naked Hannah Montanna looks the same as Gabriella (HSM).  I'll get it though, I have with everything else. 

I want more kids, I want a boy next.  What the GF struggles with is, I see no difference in sexes, I'll teach my girls to play football and my boys to cook, that is if I get the chance.
Uzique
dasein.
+2,865|6893
Sounds like you're doing a pretty swell job, '27. There is no universal 'guide to parenting' but it definitely sounds like you have the care and will to do everything right by your little one(s), now and in the future. A funny read, pretty interesting as well to see the father perspective-- I suppose as a child you always take for granted that your parents somehow 'know' what they're doing, and can inherently tell what is right and wrong .
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7096|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Uzique wrote:

Sounds like you're doing a pretty swell job, '27. There is no universal 'guide to parenting' but it definitely sounds like you have the care and will to do everything right by your little one(s), now and in the future. A funny read, pretty interesting as well to see the father perspective-- I suppose as a child you always take for granted that your parents somehow 'know' what they're doing, and can inherently tell what is right and wrong .
Its mad to the extent I'm in the middle.  I learn off my parents (well did, Dad couldn't teach me anything bless him) but Mum could/did, but Mollie teaches me infact.  Im very grateful to my Gf, she teaches me the most and is strict with me.

Theres a saying which I repeat to her a lot when we talk about 'I have to learn this, I have to learn that'

Catch a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

Yeah it might be easier to throw the brush and bobble at her and say 'yur you go then, you fucking do it'.

But:

1. It would come back at my head faster than I could duck
2. It would be giving in and I will never learn.

I taught Mollie to swim when she was 5 and I wouldn't let her give in so why should I?

Ive learned loads of my folks but I'll try and singlehandely sum it up:

Dad - Taught me regardless of what I reckon, he knows best for me.  Why wouldnt he?  He's my Dad and my best mate.
Mum - No matter how messy the current situation is and you cant see a way out, you will work it out and it will become clear.  We were both great believers in fate.
mafia996630
© 2009 Jeff Minard
+319|7186|d
+!, a very insightful story.
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7096|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
Fucking chuffed to bits with my efforts since last night.

1. Her Mum didnt de-gnit her again on Monday (7 days after I had previosuly done it) so I had to do it last night, was over the gf's and thankfully she was on hand to help, sectioning hair into quarters is a lot harder and it sounds.  No gnits but lots of eggs, so thats something.  I wish I could make her Mum pull her finger out of her arse; her excuse to everything is 'I was working'.

2. Check out my mutha fucking pony I done this morning.  Ive covered her eyes with my sunglasses to protect her ID a bit.
https://img19.imageshack.us/img19/4656/mollponyfront.th.jpg
https://img30.imageshack.us/img30/8783/mollponyback.th.jpg
Click for a bigger version

Now I raced back round the gf's on the way to school expecting hi-5's galore, a round of applause and a boquet of flowers, and she gives it 'Not bad, but the bobble is too low down, certanly aint worth the 8/10 you reckon it is'.  Fucking harsh I reckon.

So in recognition of my efforts today and last night I phoned Monty Panesar and Ian Bell, both England cricketers
https://uk.wrs.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTf2rjWDtKr20B8SpWBQx./SIG=139kkl6ub/EXP=1245489763/**http%3A//www.getminted.com/sports/sports/images/stories/ENGLAND%2520CRICKET%2520WIN.jpg

Next up was my mate Dave 'get in' he said and added 'back of the net'
https://uk.wrs.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTf2xFWTtKcjMBQV9WBQx./SIG=139qam1df/EXP=1245489861/**http%3A//fotball.aftenposten.no/multimedia/archive/00069/Beckham_celebration_69830e.jpg

However, when I got hold of JC he warned me to slow down and not to run before I could walk
https://static.flickr.com/1440/900663702_492de005b3.jpg

Jeeezus, always someone prepared to piss on ya fireworks eh.

I wonder how often he had to get de-gnitted cos he got long hair aswell like?  And I imagine that 7 day re-surfacing party trick of his can piss his Mum off something chronic.
Flecco
iPod is broken.
+1,048|7088|NT, like Mick Dundee

Gotta help out a father here. 27 m8, they aren't gnits, they are called nits and that refers to the eggs afaik. The actual bug things are head lice/head louse. My little brother was prone to catching them as a kid. Spent too much time chasing skirt around the schoolyard as a 7 year old imo. (Little bastard got my share of the self-confidence, I got his share of the brains. Not a fair trade.)

Btw sounds like you're doing a great job. Cheesy as it was, I kinda have to agree with the end of that Death Race movie where that Statham bloke's character talks about his kid in it. 'Someone once asked me if I was the best future for my little girl. I've thought about this for long time, and here's what I've decided: No one in this world is perfect. Heaven knows I'm not. But I love her more than anyone else possibly could. In the end, that's all that matters.' < that movie quote sums it up nicely tbh.

Last edited by Flecco (2009-06-19 03:07:10)

Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.
JahManRed
wank
+646|7051|IRELAND

Quite similar to my goings on with my 4year old Boy.
I'm a fucking Nit expert. My mum runs a pre school for 60 3&4 year olds. She has been getting nits off them for 30 years. I have spent many nights picking the little dead fuckers out of her head.

I feel what your saying. My boys Mum recently uped sticks and moved with my kid 90mins drive away because she was fucking my sisters husband and is in disgrace. Fucked up I know. Anyway, I used to have my kid 3-4 nights a week with my mum taking him one weekend night a week. I would pick him up every morning and take him to school and then pick him up and take him back to his mum, so I would see him every day. Now she only wants me to see him one weekend every two weeks. Nightmare. Still when I get him, his toe nails are so long they are growing back into his feet. I cut his nails, get his hair cut and send him back to her in new shoes and clothes and what do I get? "Where are his old clothes? I need them" That's it. Nothing else. He is way ahead for his age. He knows all his colours and letters, can count to 100, knows every dinosaur and what they look like as well as being a prity good drummer. All taught by me or my mum. In fairness, his mother has taught him loads too. She plays 20 odd instruments and he is learning piano already. (I bought and brought them a proper piano up) I allways was bad cop, even when we where together. Disaplining him and keeping his morals in check. Where as she was/is good cop and would leave the disapline to me. I have noticed allready that he has got abit more mouthy since I have been seeing him less.
I worry. He is living now in a dodgy area outside Belfast, starts a catholic school in September in a bigoted loyalist shit hole and will be tagged as a catholic because of his school uniform. I won't be there to look after him and watch out for him and that its breaking my heart atm.
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7096|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Flecco wrote:

Gotta help out a father here. 27 m8, they aren't gnits, they are called nits and that refers to the eggs afaik. The actual bug things are head lice/head louse. My little brother was prone to catching them as a kid. Spent too much time chasing skirt around the schoolyard as a 7 year old imo. (Little bastard got my share of the self-confidence, I got his share of the brains. Not a fair trade.)

Btw sounds like you're doing a great job. Cheesy as it was, I kinda have to agree with the end of that Death Race movie where that Statham bloke's character talks about his kid in it. 'Someone once asked me if I was the best future for my little girl. I've thought about this for long time, and here's what I've decided: No one in this world is perfect. Heaven knows I'm not. But I love her more than anyone else possibly could. In the end, that's all that matters.' < that movie quote sums it up nicely tbh.
I really try to stop myself saying her Mum is a bad Mum, I certanly won't do it infront of her if I do have a moan.  My current Mrs wants to smack the ex up, and I dread it when I know the Mrs is off out with the girls as I know she will bump into the ex and the ex will go mental at her if she starts on her.  Im stuck in the middle of the finger pointing and 'you tell her this' - 'you tell her that'.  One thing I learned in 9 years of bringing someone elses kids up is you never gain anything from slagging their Dad off to them regardless of what they he done.  You might aswell let them learn it for themselves as they grow older.  This shouldn't be any different with your own kids I guess.  My Mum shit on my Dad 33 years ago and even though Mum passed away Dad has never ever said a bad word to us about her.  So to sum it up and the reason I tell you this stuff is because I know I am the best for Mollie's future, Im far from perfect still learning it and that'll never stop, just wish her Mum would pull her finger out.

Easy to say but just from what I do and how I talk to her like an adult, Mollie knows where the love is from.
Finray
Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro
+2,629|6211|Catherine Black
You're doing a bloody good job, '27. Keep it up.
https://i.imgur.com/qwWEP9F.png
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7096|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

JahManRed wrote:

Quite similar to my goings on with my 4year old Boy.
I'm a fucking Nit expert. My mum runs a pre school for 60 3&4 year olds. She has been getting nits off them for 30 years. I have spent many nights picking the little dead fuckers out of her head.

I feel what your saying. My boys Mum recently uped sticks and moved with my kid 90mins drive away because she was fucking my sisters husband and is in disgrace. Fucked up I know. Anyway, I used to have my kid 3-4 nights a week with my mum taking him one weekend night a week. I would pick him up every morning and take him to school and then pick him up and take him back to his mum, so I would see him every day. Now she only wants me to see him one weekend every two weeks. Nightmare. Still when I get him, his toe nails are so long they are growing back into his feet. I cut his nails, get his hair cut and send him back to her in new shoes and clothes and what do I get? "Where are his old clothes? I need them" That's it. Nothing else. He is way ahead for his age. He knows all his colours and letters, can count to 100, knows every dinosaur and what they look like as well as being a prity good drummer. All taught by me or my mum. In fairness, his mother has taught him loads too. She plays 20 odd instruments and he is learning piano already. (I bought and brought them a proper piano up) I allways was bad cop, even when we where together. Disaplining him and keeping his morals in check. Where as she was/is good cop and would leave the disapline to me. I have noticed allready that he has got abit more mouthy since I have been seeing him less.
I worry. He is living now in a dodgy area outside Belfast, starts a catholic school in September in a bigoted loyalist shit hole and will be tagged as a catholic because of his school uniform. I won't be there to look after him and watch out for him and that its breaking my heart atm.
He sounds very lucky that he has you to lean on Jah, pity his Mum is fucked up though.  What the fuck does she gain from not allowing you two to see each other as the case used to be.  I can understand why she moved, that don't mean what she did was right, but I can see why.  Whats stopping her getting off her ass and making the effort to bring him to you?  It sounds like you have a good support network in the background ie, your Mum and that helps.  Not only is ya Ex getting at you, ya lad but also your Mum.  Fucking winds you up don't it when she can't even be arsed to cut his toenails, maybe she tells herself she will get round to it tomorrow, but theres no time like the present for getting on with a job.  Of course this aint DIY, its something that is essential, something your Son needs doing.  Like I say though he's lucky he has you to do it.

As for being petty over clothes, not only do you buy him new stuff, she moans over the old stuff.  What she thinking?  Your going to wear them at some point or summat?  Its easy to say 'fuck it, I won't bother anymore' but only your Son will suffer if you do that.  Im in that posistion but with a GF behind me telling me not to bother.  Easier said than done.  If I ain't going to, who is?  Mollie's manners etc have slipped.  I knew that would happen with the other two (hers from previous) but I do have Molls for almost half of the week so I do get a chance to remind her to eat with her mouth closed rather than sounding like she walking in a paddy field.  She never used to do that and thats just an example.

I cant even comment on the fear/worry and heartbreak you have over his school and the uniform he will wear.  Thats one worry I will never have, yeah she does look ever so slightly differen't to the next kid (no belly button) and will cop some stick over that as she grows but I got no probs with her telling them 'go fuck yaself'.
Flecco
iPod is broken.
+1,048|7088|NT, like Mick Dundee

My family is fairly good on the criticism front. We voice our concerns and try figure them out. Reach compromises with each other. I'm pretty lucky in that respect though.
Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6575|what

Good luck'27. It's all worth it in the end.

Flecco wrote:

My family is fairly good on the criticism front. We voice our concerns and try figure them out. Reach compromises with each other. I'm pretty lucky in that respect though.
Plus that Indian psychiatrist fixed you right up.
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
Flecco
iPod is broken.
+1,048|7088|NT, like Mick Dundee

AussieReaper wrote:

Good luck'27. It's all worth it in the end.

Flecco wrote:

My family is fairly good on the criticism front. We voice our concerns and try figure them out. Reach compromises with each other. I'm pretty lucky in that respect though.
Plus that Indian psychiatrist fixed you right up.
He was a bloody legend!
Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|7044|London, England
Flecs had a psychiatrist eh, why is this totally unsurprising


Good ol' flecs
Flecco
iPod is broken.
+1,048|7088|NT, like Mick Dundee

And a psychologist m8.
Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7096|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
Im in a similar posistion.  I have a Psyco.
Flecco
iPod is broken.
+1,048|7088|NT, like Mick Dundee

I don't anymore. Head needed screwing on straight, doesn't need maintaining.
Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.
Catbox
forgiveness
+505|7139
you sound like a good Dad... you should have a beer or 2 to celebrate that fact... lol
Love is the answer

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